


Demons in my View

by agathas_your_uncle



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, M/M, remus lupin deserves nice things
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-07-14 21:54:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16049312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agathas_your_uncle/pseuds/agathas_your_uncle
Summary: “You’ve got glitter on your face.” Remus opted instead. Sirius’s hair was down, thick black waves cascading past his cheeks which had spots of glitter dancing across his cheekbones.Sirius snorted, “Makes my eyes sparkle.”Remus hummed and returned to his book.Suddenly two fingers were snapping beneath his nose, “Oi, what do you think you’re up to with my best mates?”Remus swatted his hands away, “What do you mean ‘up to’? I’m reading their thesis paper.”Sirius watched him with narrow, gray eyes.“And defile their virtue,” Remus continued, “But I thought that went unsaid.”





	1. Remus Lupin wears too many sweaters

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a thing. Hope you like it.

To most, the bright September morning would be beautiful and refreshing but to Remus Lupin it was bloody fucking freezing and neither his sweater or cardigan was doing much to keep in what little body heat he biologically was able to retain on a day to day basis.

 

The hand currently wrapped around a large to-go cup of tea was numb, his thin fingers long gone white and stiff, and he picked up his already hurried pace as the University library came into view, hoping the school’s administrative overlords had thought to turn on the heat after the drop from last night. 

 

He was already late. He’d had a nightmare last night, something that happily hadn’t occurred in quite a while, and hadn’t gone back to sleep until the early hours of the morning. He’d effectively missed his alarm and woken up fifteen minutes past due, and his morning since had not gotten better. 

 

Thankfully, he was working with Evans today, and knew that she’d already have a start on the book returns and wouldn’t rat him out to Pince. Unlike Severus, the little twat.

 

“You look awful,” Lily told him as he scurried through the library’s service entrance, in hopes to evade their watchful supervisor. Remus shot her a scowl, causing the redhead to cackle and continue stacking the returns from the book drop onto a rickety and bent cart.

 

Lily Evans had started the August before alongside Remus in the library sciences graduate program. Both had had trouble finding jobs in their field and had taken the poorly paid and often abused positions at the University library to help get by in the meantime. 

 

Remus knew her only from class, but he had to admit that the often stagnant hours spent at the university library circulation desk went by a lot faster alongside a friendly face. 

 

The library itself was smaller compared to the others in the area. Built in the early 1700s, Remus had a hunch it’s original intended use was as a cathedral, judging from the stone walls, drafty roof and shoddy electricity. The university had purchased it in the ‘60s and dedicated it to literature and fine arts department. As such, Lily and Remus got their daily dose of pretentious and haughty undergrads, dressed in all manners of costume garb and ripped jeans, pretending to know a lot more than they actually did. 

 

Their co-worker, Severus Snape (and really, his parents never gave him a chance with a name like that) was one such undergrad. A senior who frankly spent too much time staring at Lily to get any real work done, he generally pissed Remus off with his snide remarks and quotes of Edgar Allan Poe.

 

Remus hurriedly put his book bag away and found that no, the evil overlords hadn’t switched on the heat yet. Keeping his wool cardigan wrapped around his thin frame, he popped open his tea and tried to warm his fingers in the steam that emitted from the top. Lily rolled the cart from the back so the two of them could check in the books from the sanctity of the front desk. 

 

They didn’t open for another half an hour, and Remus found himself admitting that this was his favorite time of day at the library. The quiet sunlight fluttering through the arching windows, the peaceful silence yet to be broken by the footfalls and lowly tenors of students trudging through homework or group projects. He felt another wave of appreciation for Lily Evans, who understood that he wasn’t a chatty person in the mornings.

 

Or, ever, really.

 

He knew he threw her off during the first shift they’d worked together. Pince was authoritative and Snape was creepy, so he knew she’d been hoping for some normalcy or at least friendliness from Remus. She’d soon come to realize that what most people perceived as rude was reservation on Remus’ part, and it wasn’t that he hadn’t a warm personality, per say, but he certainly couldn’t be described as outgoing. 

 

Lily, thankfully, was a good judge of character, and somehow found the best in people and dragged that out of them. Even creepy Severus. 

 

They’d worked together for a couple months now, always trying to be scheduled with each other, and Remus had come to rely on Lily’s silly sense of humor, flighty temper whilst dealing with undergrads, and generally just grounding personality to solidify him on his bad days. And she grew to appreciate his seemingly never ending parade of wooly cardigans, dry humor and cantankerous personality.

 

Halfway through the stack of returns, Lily stole a sip of his tea and met his eyes over the hoard of books, “Ask me about my day yesterday.”

 

“How was your day yesterday, Miss Evans?”

 

Lily rolled her eyes, “Disastrous. D’you know how I told you I was assisting as a T.A. for a grad program?”

 

Remus hummed in acknowledgement: Lily had gotten a second job -- which was needed, with the piss poor pay the library offered them. 

 

“Turns out it’s for an engineering class.” Remus met hers with wide eyes, “I know. I have  _ no clue _ what I’m doing, Remus. And the professor is shit. I mean, actually shit. Worse than Lockhart.”

 

Remus shuttered, “They can’t expect you to lead class though?” he caught her terrified look, “Oh dear.”

 

“Oh dear indeed.” Lily said miserably, “I don’t know what the fuck I’m going to do. And the students don’t take me seriously. Class of  _ all _ men. All gits. Each of them.”

 

“That is the leading stereotype for engineers, yes.” Remus agreed in sympathy. He didn’t envy Lily, though his second job did consist of serving coffee and toasties to drunk students at one in the morning. 

 

“We’ll just have to get you up to date,” Remus told her, already logging onto the computer and formulating a research plan in his head, “Start you off with the texts they’re supposed to be reading and work from there.”

 

A small smile graced Lily’s charmingly freckled face, “Thanks Rey.”

 

“What did I say about that abhorrent nickname?”

 

“Oh abhorrent is it?” Lily jeered, tossing her long red locks into a bun atop her head, “Certainly a downgrade from, what did you say last week?  _ Currish _ .”

 

“It means contemptible.”

 

Lily narrowed her eyes at him, “The fact that you felt the need to define it for me makes  _ you  _ contemptible, Remus.”

 

Remus snorted and took a long drag of his tea, now going cool. He glanced up at the clock and saw that it was nearly time to open, “Shall I permit the hoards to enter or would you prefer?”

 

Lily rolled her eyes, “Permit away, snob.”

 

Remus grabbed the keys and went towards the doors, tucking his scarf a bit tighter around his neck. Glancing through the door windows he saw a couple of their habitual computer users already waiting outside, gracing the early morning light with bleary eyes and clutching warm cups of coffee. 

 

Unlocking the doors he let them scoot by, all three of them dressed in t-shirts and jeans, each eyeing his two cardigans and scarf with looks of disbelief and confusion. 

 

He often wore scarves for two reasons: Remus was perpetually cold, and he preferred to prevent people from staring at the jagged, ugly looking scar that started at the top of his chin and disappeared under his clothing, down his torso where it was joined by numerous others. 

 

The rest of the day went by at a moderate pace, broken up by a tea break and he and Lily taking turns ordering engineering texts from another library while also dealing with students. 

 

It was close to four and near shift change when a tall, lanky Indian boy with a mop of black hair and thick glasses entered the library, followed by a smaller, stout blond with quick, calculating eyes.

 

“Oi! Evans!” The dark haired man exclaimed in surprise, hopping over to the desk like a giant deer, “You work here too? What, teaching us louts once a week isn’t enough for you?” 

 

Remus heard Lily’s heavy sigh and he turned away from his computer to catch her pursing her lips in displeasure, which was only ever something he’d seen her do in reaction to Severus standing too close to her while she worked.

 

“Potter. Pettigrew. What are you doing here?”

 

Potter beamed at her, “Well this is a library, dear Evans. We are here to acquire a book.”

 

Remus saw Lily’s jaw tick and tried to swallow a snort, “This library is for Lit and Arts. You’re both engineering students.”

 

“Oh, alright,” Potter rolled his eyes playfully and stood up from where he was leaning over the desk, “We’re picking up a book for a friend.”

 

Lily sighed and then caught sight of the cue lining up behind the two grad students, “Go over to Remus and see if he can help you out. I’ve got students check out.”

 

Potter wagged his eyebrows, “Check out your students much, eh Evans?” he moved away quickly however, when it looked like Lily was close to leaning over and slapping him, “Going going!”

 

The two moved down the desk to where Remus sat and was usually designated for reference questions, “Afternoon,” Potter smiled at him, genuine and clear. The man had an infectious beam, and Remus had to suppress responding in kind, “We here about a book.”

 

“I gathered,” Remus said dryly, turning back to his computer, “Know the title?”

 

“Mmmm,” Potter propped his elbows on the desk and rested his chin in his hands, “No. Pete?” he asked his companion.

 

The smaller man sighed and took out a piece of paper with a title scribbled on it, “ _ Musical Theory _ by W.W. Norton.”

 

Remus nodded and quickly typed in the information, his bony fingers flying over the keyboard. He quickly located the book and wrote the call number out on a card, “701.88 NOR. Up the stairs and to your left.”

Potter grabbed the card and handed off to Pete, who dutifully set off towards the stairs. 

 

Remus stared at the man in front of him, who, for all intents and purposes, didn’t seem to be moving anytime soon.

 

“Friend of Evans, are you?” Potter asked him, his eyes wide with faux innocent.

 

Remus sighed and rolled his eyes, “I am so not getting involved, mate.”

 

Potter snorted and smiled again, “Fair enough.” he held out his hand, “James Potter, engineering. Nice to meet you.

 

Remus nodded wearily and shook the outstretched hand, “Remus Lupin.”

 

Potter’s eyebrows furrowed, and for a moment Remus feared he found the name familiar, “Funny name, that.”

 

“It is.”

 

“You know Lily long?”

 

Remus sighed and pulled his thumb through a hole in his jumper, “We’re in class together.”

 

“And you both ended up working here?” Potter said, and when Remus nodded he smiled, “Funny that, huh?”

 

“Not really. Not many jobs in our field, unfortunately.”

 

Potter nodded and then bit at his lip, “Have you ever had a go at her?”

 

Remus cocked an eyebrow, “Go at her?”

 

Potter scoffed, “You know what I mean.” 

 

He did. But Remus didn’t really see Lily as the type of women people has ‘a go’ at, “She’s not my type.”

 

Potter scoffed again, his eyes widening in disbelief as he turned back around to glance at the redhead, “Smart and beautiful? That’s everybody’s type.”

 

Remus hummed, noncommittally.

 

Soon enough, the blond haired Pete was back and tugging on Potter’s shoulder, “C’mon Prongs, we’re going to be late to class if we want to drop this off to him beforehand.”

 

Potter nodded and jumped to his feet in an exuberant amount of energy Remus was sure he’d never possessed in his entire life, “Right-o. Nice to meet you Remus!” then the pair moved back towards the front doors, not before Potter exclaimed over his shoulder, “See you tomorrow, Evans!”

 

When finally there was a lull, Lily scooted over to Remus groaning and rubbing her forehead.

 

“Students of yours, I gather?” 

 

“If you want to call them that. Bloody cheek. Did they actually come for a book or just to torment me?”

 

Remus smiled slightly, “A real live, actual book, Evans. Can you imagine?”

 

“Well at least now I know he can read, bloody ponce.” Lily said, still rubbing her forehead. 

 

Remus felt his brow furrow, “He’s an engineering graduate student. Maybe you just haven’t seen the studious side of him yet.”

 

“Potter wouldn’t know hard work if it kicked him in the teeth. Even the professor warned me about him.”

 

“Well professors tend to have grudges.” Remus said flatly, remembering Lockhart.”

 

Lily shot him a look, “He’s a Potter, Rey. As in  _ Fleamont Potter _ . ”

 

Remus whistled softly, “Christ.” Fleamont Potter’s hair products were world famous, and the family vaults were rumored to equate to a literal gold mine. 

 

“Exactly.” 

 

“Whelp,” Remus said, patting her shoulder gently, “Good luck with that.”

 

Lily’s response was a heavy eye roll, “Cheers, Remus.”

  
  
  
  


__________________________________________

 

When Remus got back to his flat that evening before his shift at The Burrow, he found a thick, official envelop waiting for him in his mailbox. 

 

Noticing the return address, he swallowed a lump of fear that had taken home in his throat and stuffed the envelope into his book bag, dead set on ignoring it until he’d had another cup of tea. 

 

His flat was situated between his two jobs and the building that held most of his classes, which was a godsend since he couldn’t stand the tight, enclosed quarters of the tube and was socially anxious enough to avoid cabs at any costs. Not that he could afford to take taxis. And he didn’t mind the walk, however the winter seasons were always difficult on his thin, bony frame. 

 

The flat was tiny, miniscule even. Room for only a day bed that served also as a desk and couch, he had a kitchenette the size of his thumb and a small bathroom. A low rising wardrobe sat in front of the window, atop that various succulents and plants Remus tried to keep alive made their home on top of a series of stacked books. 

 

Opposite the wall that housed the daybed was the biggest feature of the room: his bookshelf. 

 

The massive Ikea purchase had just enough room for a mediocre record player and a few bins of clothes. The flat had everything Remus needed, and owned, in fact. It was just enough room for him and his pet cat, Hermione, and through access to his open window and a sturdy ledge, the feline came and went as she pleased. 

 

He switched on the kettle and nervously tapped his foot against the tan dingy tile that lined the kitchenette, staring anxiously at his book bag. When his tea was finally prepared, he slowly took the envelope from his book bag. Opening, he waited till his hands were steady before he started to read.

 

Halfway through, he lost his resolve.

 

When he gained full awareness almost ten minutes later, his tea had spilled into the carpet where he’d knocked it over during his panic attack. He was on the floor, knees in his chest, back pressed up against the wall next to the daybed. His heartbeat, fortunately, had calmed. 

 

Lightheaded, he stood slowly and made his way to the bathroom where he washed his face.  Blearily he caught his reflection in the mirror and winced. His face was gaunt, flushed from crying and trying to breath. His brown curls stuck to his forehead with sweat. His shoulders stuck out from beneath his cardigan like sharp knives. 

 

When he got himself under control, he called Albus.

 

“ _ How is he getting a bloody mistrial _ ?”

 

“Good behaviour, oddly enough.” Albus, his government appointed lawyer told him in a tired voice, “It will go  _ nowhere _ , Remus. And we are trying to keep you out of it as much as possible.”

 

Remus shut his eyes and covered his mouth with his hand. Memories of reporters camped outside in the hospital waiting room. The hordes of protesters outside the courts before and after the trails. Just for moment, Remus let himself remember what it had been like to be the scared, scarred Welsh boy who, in one night, had become a victim of torture and an orphan. 

 

Fenrir Greyback, who had been one of the key leaders of a terrorist group based in England but had facets in Scotland, Wales and Ireland, had broken into the Lupin household one night, intent on making an example of the peace activists who lived there. And he had. He’d killed Remus’s parents, and then turned nine year old Remus into his plaything for the next seven hours. 

 

It was only when a neighbor had noticed Hope and Lyall’s cars still parked in the drive the next afternoon that anyone noticed anything wrong. 

 

“When?” Remus asked, forcing himself out of turbulent memories and back into the present.

 

“Just before Christmas,” Albus told him solemnly, “This is purely procedural, Remus.  _ Nothing _ will come of it.”

 

Remus scoffed, “I can only hope so.”

 

Albus hummed across the line, “How is school going?”

 

Remus rolled his eyes, “I’m sure you have better things to be doing --”

 

“Nonsense.” Albus told him with the type of authoritative finality that Remus had always envied him for, “No more trouble with that professor, I imagine?”

 

Remus felt a small smile spread across his face, “No Albus. You’re threats promptly put him off.”

 

“Gentle threats, Remus. I am nothing if not a gentleman.”

 

“Of course.”

 

He heard the lawyer chuckle, “Be sure to remember that. I’ll be in your neighborhood sometime soon. We’ll meet and discuss your statement, just in case.”

 

Just like that his smile was gone, and a familiar sense of panic climbed into Remus’s stomach, “Just in case.” he croaked out. He glanced up at the clock, “I’ve got to go, or else I’ll be late for work.”

 

After he hung up on Albus, he cleaned up his spilt tea and mourned the loss of yet another rug. Gathering up some homework he could do during the lulls at the cafe, Remus bundled himself back up and headed out to his second job, trying not to freak out about the fact that he might have to once again face the man who murdered his parents gave him his scars. 


	2. Remus Lupin has too many encounters with James Potter

The Burrow was one of the only cafes in the area open until 3am, a true blessing to the students who lived in the surrounding neighborhood. 

 

The owner was Molly Weasley, a young, bustling woman with three boys at home. Her husband, Arthur, was a low level government official who dealt with cases like Remus’s, something he found out one evening when he arrived at the cafe and caught him and Albus having an early dinner and nearly had a heart attack. 

 

Molly had taken Remus immediately under her wing, forcing free meals and countless cups of tea into him since he’d started working there, all under the claim that she was eternally grateful to have someone covering the horrible night shifts. 

 

In reality, Remus just knew her to be kind. 

 

The Burrow was a cozy paradise, with mismatching Victorian high back chairs, dark wooden booths astrew with plump, knitted cushions and a long coffee bar that resembled that of an American 1950s diner. It was a mish-mash of patterns, decades, tastes and designs and Remus loved every inch of it. The entire back wall was laced with floor to ceiling bookshelves and served as a take-one-leave-one library. 

 

When he entered the cafe behind a couple holding hands, he found three small red headed boys sitting at the bar. Bill, Charlie and Percy were all under the age of six, and he knew them to be an unholy trio of terror for their mother at home. At the moment, however, Charlie was quietly playing with a set of plastic dinosaurs while Bill and Percy colored with thick crayons. All three smiled at Remus when they caught sight of him.

 

“Remy!” Percy, the youngest, beamed at him. The toddler’s usual stoic face brightened up considerably when he smiled. Remus resisted rolling his eyes at the horrible nickname the three boys had chosen for him, and instead he reached out and ruffled the boy’s flaming red hair. 

 

“Where’s mum, boyos?” Remus asked, seeing no one manning the counter. 

 

“Mister Fletcher didn’t come inta work today, so mummy is in the kitchen saying bad words.”

 

Remus chuckled and sure enough, he could hear a slew of swears erupt from the service window behind the bar. 

 

Ducking around and following Molly’s voice, Remus found her at the sink, face covered in flour and elbows deep in water.

 

“Oh Remus, thank god!” she exclaimed, “That blasted Mundungus Fletcher has buggered off the last time. Never came in this morning to do the pasties. He’s fired. I mean it this time Remus. No more second chances for that confounded bastard!”

 

Remus fought hard to keep a straight face, “Who will do the pastries then, Molly?”

 

The redheaded woman waved a wet hand at him, causing droplets of water to fling across the room, “We’ll do without for now. Just sandwiches. Just until I find someone suitable. I’ve a friend whose daughter has got an interest in baking, maybe she’ll be up for it.” She turned a wary eye at him, “Are my boys behaving out there?”

 

“Like angels.”

 

Molly scoffed, “That they aren’t.” She dried off her hands and took off the apron, revealing a knitted dress of some sort of dizzying pattern underneath. “Everything is set here for the night, love. I made you a ham and cheese toastie, kept in the oven there for you.”

 

Remus felt his cheeks warm and he rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed by her care, “Oh Molly, you know you didn’t have to.”

 

“Rubbish.” Molly waved off his concerns, “You’re as thin as a rail, Remus. Can’t have the only normal person in this city willing to work the night shift pass out in my kitchen, can I?”

 

Remus smiled at her gentle tone, “Guess not.”

 

He followed her back out to the front and watched with a small smile as she gathered up her boys, tucking them into various knitted jumpers and throwing their toys and coloring materials into a giant, frightfully orange tote bag. 

 

“Right-o,” she chirped, setting her knitted hat straight on her head, “We’re off. Don’t forget to lock up, and good luck on that exam Monday.” she winked at him, “I hadn’t forgotten.”

 

Remus flushed and waved goodbye to the three boys, who beamed and chorused out their farewells as their bustling mother all but threw them out of the cafe. He watched as she herded them down the street, keeping one firm hand on the back of Charlie’s jumper. 

 

The cafe seemed small and quiet without them, and Remus took his usual spot perched on a stool behind the counter, his homework set out before him. 

 

Working two jobs as well as trying to keep up with his grad studies often left Remus feeling exhausted and overworked, tonight however it served as a good distraction from the news about Greyback. 

 

The first few hours were quiet, as they usually were after the dinner rush. It was a Friday night, however, and Remus knew that come after midnight and students would be filing in. 

 

He got a few chapters of reading done and a fair bit of his essay before the first group of undergrads came in looking for toasties. 

 

The next few hours went by in a blur. A genius purchase made by Molly made it possible for Remus to heat up multiple prepared sandwiches at once, and there was continuous amounts of coffee and tea being made throughout the night. 

 

Most of the customers lived in flats around the Burrow and were frequent visitors, and a few of them cheered at Remus as they stumbled through the door. 

 

It was close to two am, and an hour before Remus closed up, when a familiar face came through the door, followed by three more people in considerate inebriation. 

 

“Lupin Library man!” James Potter cheered, his tanned face flushed from the night air and his eyes slightly glazed, “What are the odds!”

 

Remus sighed inwardly. What were the odds indeed. 

 

James was followed by Peter, who had his arm wrapped around a gangly pale man, who was also being held up on the other side by a tiny, pixie like woman with spiky black hair. They dropped the gangly man unceremoniously into an emptied booth, and he proceeded to slide down until his head hit one of Molly’s obnoxiously knitted pillows. 

 

The pixie girl sighed and dropped into the seat opposite him. 

 

“Pete! Look! It’s Remus Lupin from the library!” James folded his limbs into the stool directly across the bar from Remus and grinned at him, “The same library that my besotted Lily Evans works at.”

 

Peter rolled his eyes, but gave Remus a friendly nod, “Hullo Remus.”

 

Remus nodded at both of them, “What can I get you lads?”

 

“Hmmm, I think a very strong coffee for Frankie over there,” Potter motioned with his thumb over his shoulder at the passed out man in the booth, “And, say, Alice love, do you want a coffee?”

 

Said Alice propped her chin up with her palm and stared at them hazily, “Gin.”

 

“No, love.  _ Coffee _ .” Potter reprimanded. “Lots and lots of coffee, Remus.” Potter exclaimed, watching with a look of amusement as Peter lay his head down on the counter and promptly fall asleep. 

 

Remus eyed him and the two at the booth. The cafe was empty besides the five of them, and he didn’t really have a problem dealing with drunk students. That is not to say he would enjoy peeling the blond fellow in front of him off the bar. 

 

“Rough night?” Remus asked as he grabbed four large mugs and pulling out the pot of dark roast.

 

James grinned at him, “We’re celebrating actually. Our friend -- the one we were grabbing the book for -- just sold his first song!” James looked around, suddenly confused, “I’m not sure where he disappeared to.” Then he shrugged and shot Remus another smiled, “Anyways. We started with Fireball -- have you had it? Tastes like cinnamon -- and it all went downhill from there. Or uphill. Depends on whether or lying down or not, I suppose.”

 

Remus tried not to smile, out of camaraderie for Lily, but he was finding it increasingly hard not to like James Potter.

 

He brought over the coffees for Frank and Alice, as well as a free cupcake, which earned him a big, toothy smile from Alice. 

 

He pulled out a turkey toastie and pushed that and the coffees towards James, “Sounds exciting.”

 

James took a giant bite of the toastie and then back up at Remus, “This is brilliant!” he said with a mouth full of food.

 

Remus snorted and pulled out his own sandwich, “So what are you studying then, James? Lily told me you’re in engineering.”

 

Potter’s eyes widened and his mouth froze, mid-chew, “Evans talks about me?”

 

Remus rolled his eyes, “ _ No _ , James.”

 

Potter’s shoulders dropped slightly, “I’m in love, Loopy.”

 

“Don’t call me that.”

 

James continued, unfazed, “Have you ever been in love?”

 

Remus took a bite of his sandwich and swallowed before answering, “No.”

 

“It’s a wonderful feeling.”

 

“I’ve heard it can be quite horrible.”

 

“Horrible?” James tilted his head and looked at him, like a dog considering a trick.

 

Remus shrugged, “Unrequited and all that.”

 

“Oh that,” James shrugged again, “My love for Lily Evans is not unrequited. She just hasn’t decided to requite it yet.”

 

Remus couldn’t help but smile, “Yet.”

 

James beamed at him again, “ _ Yet _ .”

 

Suddenly Peter’s head shot up and his hands went to grab at James, “Prongs! We have -- tomorrow -- today? -- our thesis!” 

 

James patted his friend’s hands away, “I know Wormy. We still have to edit it. We’ve all this weekend.”

 

Peter sighed gratefully and, his eyes landing on the mug of coffee in front of him, grabbed it hungrily and started slurping.

 

Remus watched the two, suddenly thrown by the odd nicknames they had for each other. 

 

“We’ve our final project paper coming up,” James explained, picking at the crumbs his sandwich had left behind on the bar, “Our first draft is due Monday.”

 

“How much have you got done?” Remus asked 

 

“Oh we’ve finished it. We’ve just got to edit. Which we’re both rubbish at. Engineering classes don’t exactly teach you how to write.”

 

“Right.” Remus said, nodding. 

 

James shot him a hopeful look, “You wouldn’t want to do it, by any chance?”

 

Remus looked at him, startled, “I’m a librarian, James.”

 

The dark haired boy flailed, almost knocking the mug out of Peter’s hands, “Aren’t librarians supposed to know everything?”

 

“That’s a common misconception.”

 

“But you wear cardigans!”

 

“What --?” Remus shook his head, “What on earth does that have to do with anything?”

 

James waved away the thought, “All you’d have to do was check over grammar and sentence structure.”

 

“I don’t know anything about engineering --”

 

“I’ll pay you.”

 

Remus paused, blinking. “How much?” he asked finally.

 

“One hundred.”

 

“One hundred?” Remus blanched, “To read your paper?”

 

“Fine _ fine fine _ fine!” James rushed, “One fifty.”

 

Remus gaped at him, “Deal.”

 

“Really?!” James exclaimed, looking excited. Even Peter had perked up.

 

“Sure. Why not.” Remus shrugged, “When should I --?”

 

“Come by tomorrow!” James said, taking out his phone

 

Remus narrowed his eyes at the two of them, “Will you be alive tomorrow?”

 

James chuckled, “We bounce back like cowboys, Remus.”

 

“Pirates.” Peter chimed in

 

“Marauders, if you will.” James said, and the two of them snickered at the private joke.

 

Remus rolled his eyes, “My mistake for assuming otherwise.”

 

James tossed his phone, “Put your number in and I’ll text you a time to come over tomorrow. Evening work okay?”

 

Remus nodded, typing in his number obediently, hoping he wasn’t making a mistake by doing so. If James followed through, the extra cash would be wonderful, since everything he made at his jobs went towards school, his flat, and what little food he could afford after that.

 

The four of them cleared out sometime after that, and after cleaning up the bin of plates and mugs, Remus shut down the kitchen, closed out the cash register and locked up for the night. 

 

The streets back to his flat were quiet, and unfortunately he was left to his own thoughts. His worst nightmare was coming true, and it was all Remus could hope that the media wouldn’t hype Greyback’s case up anymore than they had eleven years ago. 

 

He caught sight of the moon watching him from the sky, it’s light sending Remus’s ghosts sprawling into the shadows, where they’d wait for him till dawn. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment and kudos are proof. Follow me on Tumblr @agathasyouruncle


	3. Remus Lupin is not afraid of Sirius Black

The next morning, Remus was surprised to receive a text from an unknown number, rather too chipper for so early in the morning.

 

>> **Good morning library man! This is THE James Potter. When can you come round today?**

 

Remus rubbed his bleary eyes, uncurling his legs from where they’d pressed up against his chest while he slept.

 

<< _Work till 3, anytime after that?_

 

>> **HOW MANY BLOODY JOBS DO YOU HAVE?**

 

Remus sighed and rolled his eyes, which was already becoming a common response he had to “the” James Potter.

 

<< _Library is open on Saturday, James._

 

He knew what the next text was going to be without even reading it.

 

>> **IS EVANS WORKING WITH YOU?**

 

<< _Unfortunately, no._

 

>> **Oi, stay away from my woman, Loopy.”**

 

<< _Don’t call me that_.

 

Remus sighed. James was anything if not devoted, Remus could give him that.

 

He dragged his weary body out of the day bed, cracking his spine and knees as he did so. He hadn’t slept well, and took a lukewarm shower to try and wake himself up. He was working with Severus today, and made his coffee extra strong in preparation for all the melodrama.

 

Severus had already opened by the time he got there and shot Remus a nasty sneer when he entered. Remus ignored him and took his spot at the reference desk, pulling his arms out of one of his jumpers and uncurling his scarf. The heat had finally kicked on and it was nice and cozy in the library that afternoon.

 

His shift passed quickly, and Remus found himself bolting out of the library on an empty stomach when Ms. Pince arrived. Any earlier he could get away from Severus Snape and his bloody Edgar Allan Poe the better.

 

He’d received a text from James with an address, and he realized he was going to be late if he stopped for a bite to eat. He caught a bus taking him to the neighborhood James and Peter lived, one of the upper-middle class areas of the city.

 

The buildings here had less students living nearby and therefore hardly ever got peed on. In fact, the building he arrived at was an old cobblestone mansion that had been converted into multiple apartments and large flats.

 

He briefly wondered how two grad students could afford such a place before he remembered Potter’s namesake.

 

Trudging up the winding stairs, Remus ignored the growing hunger pains in his stomach and took out his phone, rereading the flat number before stopping and knocking at the correct door.

 

The door swung open and Remus’s heart stopped.

 

Personally, Remus tried not to judge people by how they looked. He’d been stared at enough as a child that he knew what the heavy weight of curious eyes felt like and tried to refrain from inflicting that feeling on anyone.

 

But the man in front of him was beautiful and stare worthy. And by the raised eyebrow and unimpressed look he gave Remus, he was entirely aware of how good looking he was.

 

“Yea?”

 

Remus forgot his words for a moment. He took in the sharp cheekbones, warm, olive skin and grey eyes. Luscious, long dark hair was pulled into a low bun, accentuating his striking features. He was shorter than Remus, but everyone was. Broad, muscled shoulders were lost to narrow hips and long legs. Remus cleared his throat and hoped he wasn’t blushing.

 

“I’m looking for James?”

 

The man’s stare didn’t change, and he didn’t move away from the door, “Who are you, then?”

 

Remus was about to answer before a voice shouted down the hall, “Is that Loopy? Let him in, for Christ’s sake, Sirius!”

 

The man -- Sirius -- rolled his eyes and stepped aside, barely. Remus felt the back of his neck warm at the obvious dislike the man was showing him, but he soon forced himself brush it off.

 

He’d dealt with worse.

 

Once inside, Remus waited until Sirius stepped back from the door before he could follow him down the hall. He fidgeted with the bottom of his scarf, which unfortunately brought Sirius’s attention to the fact he was wearing one.

 

“Bit warm for scarves and jumpers, don’t you think?” he asked lazily, tossing Remus a look of judgement as he walked down the hall.

 

Remus bit the inside of his cheek, “No.” he answered simply, not feeling the need to explain himself to someone who couldn’t bother to be even a little friendly.

 

Sirius led him to a comfortably sized living area where Peter and James were sprawled across the floor. All around them were piles of papers  and texts -- research, Remus presumed.

 

The room was decorated in warm tones, all the furniture mismatched and the floors beneath them were hardwood but covered in rich, tapestry like carpets. It reminded him of the Burrow, actually, but more masculine.

 

James was sprawled on the couch, his head draped over the side and smiled at Remus upside down.

 

“Brilliant!” he said, flinging his upper body into a sitting position, “We just finished plugging in the rest of our data. Do you prefer a hard copy or the laptop?”

 

“Hard copy, if that’s alright.” Remus said as he pulled the strap of his bag over his head. He dropped into one of the available armchairs, immediately sinking into the plush cushions. The bloody armchair was more comfortable than his bed.

 

“I’ll get as much done as I can before I have to go to work.” Remus told him, taking the intimidating stack of papers.

 

“Jesus mate, ever have a bit of fun?” James asked with raised eyebrows as Sirius watched him from the window, a cigarette held lazily from his hand.

 

Remus ignored the comment and set to work, the voices of the three other men fading like a distant buzz in the back of his mind.

 

Remus’s alarm went off just before six, breaking the comfortable silence.

 

“I haven’t finished yet,” Remus explained, standing, “I don’t know if you’re comfortable with me taking it with me --”

 

James shook his head, “Do you mind coming back tomorrow? I’d double your pay of course.”

 

Remus shook his head, but before he could answer a sharp voice cut in, “You’re paying him?”

 

Sirius was glaring at the two of them with narrow eyes, and Remus felt his body tense up at the accusatory nature of the star.

 

“Course I am, Pads.” James said, rolling his eyes in what seemed like an exhausted air, as if they’d argued about something of this nature before, “C’mon Remus, I’ll walk you to the door.”

 

Remus grabbed his things quickly and followed James back down the hall. “Don’t mind Sirius,” James said to him lowly, though his tone was good natured, “He’s incredibly protective. Doesn’t really get on with strangers.”

 

Remus figured he could understand that well enough, though he was reluctant to say so. Or ever be in the same room with Sirius Black. Ever. Again.

 

James patted him on the back as he opened the door, “He’ll warm up to you.” Then he shrugged, which Remus guessed was more out of habit than anything, “Eventually.”

 

Remus’s brow furrowed at the thought of Sirius Black ever wanting to warm up to him, let alone giving him the chance to. But he tugged on his thick wooly jumper and waved to James as he trudged down the stairs, promising to return the next day.

__________________________________________

 

His shift at the Burrow as quiet enough until a fight broke out at a popular pub two doors down. Soon there were sirens blaring in the distance, but before they arrived the door to the cafe suddenly swung open with force and Sirius Black stormed in, his eyes ablaze and fists clenched at his side.

 

He wore torn up jeans and a white t-shirt underneath a leather jacket that should have looked cheesy yet unfortunately looked marvelous on the man. His t-shirt was tight enough that it was hard to pretend Sirius Black was anything but extraordinarily fit, though Remus tried his damnedest to ignore it.

 

Sirius stopped suddenly when he caught sight of Remus, perched at the bar with a book open in his lap, and scoffed.

 

“You’re just everywhere today, aren’t you?”

 

Remus refrained from rolling his eyes and turned his attention back to his book, “Suppose I am.”

 

He’d hoped Sirius would go away, because really, what was it with this group of guys that suddenly they were tumbling into his life like _Alice out of Wonderland_? But instead the infuriating man took a seat directly across from Remus, his boots kicking at the bar as he did so.

 

Without looking up, Remus poured the man a cup of coffee and pushed it towards him, his muscle memory allowing him to pull the act off without ever taking his eyes off the page.

 

“Cream?”

 

Remus pushed it towards him with the back of his hand, listening as the sirens got closer to the pub and the fight that was still occurring in the street. He looked up and glanced outside, then back at Sirius, who met his eyes with a look that dared him to ask.

 

“You’ve got glitter on your face.” Remus opted instead. Sirius’s hair was down, thick black waves cascading past his cheeks which had spots of glitter dancing across his cheekbones.

 

Sirius snorted, “Makes my eyes sparkle.”

 

Remus hummed and returned to his book.

 

Suddenly two fingers were snapping beneath his nose, “Oi, what do you think you’re up to with my best mates?”

 

Remus swatted his hands away, “What do you mean ‘up to’? I’m reading their thesis paper.”

 

Sirius watched him with narrow, gray eyes.

 

“And defiling their virtue,” Remus continued, “But I thought that went unsaid.”

 

“People take advantage of James because of his money and his inability to see the worst in people.” Sirius grunted, an unlit cigarette sticking out of the side of his mouth. He was patting his pockets, looking for something.

 

Once he found it, he pulled out a silver lighter case. Remus reached out and grabbed the case from Sirius before he could light up.

 

“You think that’s what I’m doing?” Remus asked, twirling the case idly, “Taking advantage of him?”

 

Sirius was glaring at him -- the force of his stare was something Remus was sure had made others cave and recoil before. But Remus had been held hostage and tortured for hours as a child by a terrorist with psychopathic tendencies.

 

Sirius Black did not scare him.

 

Sirius snapped the lighter from out of his fingertips and put it and the cigarette back in the pocket of his leather jacket.

 

“Dunno yet.” he said, clearly aggravated. Remus tried to suppress his smile.

 

A police car pulled up outside on the curb, and Remus turned his attention to Sirius who looked back at him, feigning innocence.

 

“What are _you_ up to?”

 

Sirius shrugged, “Just letting off some steam.”

 

“Picking fights at pubs is your version of letting off steam?”

 

Sirius rolled his eyes, “Would you unclench?”

 

“Charming.”

 

Sirius hummed, his eyes flickered with faint hints of amusement, “No. I bet you’re version of a wild night is listening to Joni Mitchell in your bath robe.”

 

“Barry Manilow, actually.”

 

Sirius snorted just as he was taking a sip of coffee, spilling it over onto his hands “Hot coffee, Remus,” he scolded, a small smile appearing at the corner of his mouth, and shot Remus a wink “ _Hot_.”

 

Remus tossed him a towel, ignoring the sharp tug in his stomach.

 

“What’s your story, then?” Sirius asked suddenly, wiping his hands.

 

“My story?”

 

Sirius motioned for more coffee and Remus obliged, feeling slightly unsteady

 

“Yes, spell me your harrowing tale.” Sirius eyed him again with those unnatural gray eyes, “You look like you have one.”

 

Remus made a face, “I feel I should take offense to that.”

 

“Take whatever you want,” Sirius scoffed, then slurped his coffee loudly, “I still want to hear it.”

Remus tilted his head, “Why? A minute ago I was sure you had me all figured out.”

 

Sirius cocked an eyebrow, challenging, “Prove me wrong.”

 

Remus sighed and shook his head, entirely done with the conversation, “I have no story. I’m just a normal guy working too many jobs, trying to get through grad school.” He filled his own mug of coffee, “Though I bet a name like yours comes with a story.”

 

Sirius snorted, “I was cursed with parents who have atrocious taste. Besides. You’re one to talk, _Remus_.”

 

Remus nodded his head, “Fair.”

 

“Did you have a brother named Romulus?”

 

“No siblings.”

 

Sirius hummed, taking another sip of coffee, “Eat them in the womb?”

 

Remus paused, his own mug halfway to his lips, “Every last one.”

 

“You’ve a sick sense of humor, Lupin.”

 

“You started it.”

 

Sirius studied him before smiling fully. The effect of it was nearly blinding and made Remus’s heart lurch painfully in his chest, “Right. You’re not entirely awful.”

 

“Have I passed your test then?”

 

Sirius’s hand dropped into the back pocket of his impossibly tight jeans, pulling out a few pounds and laying them on the counter, “We’ll see.”

 

With a wink and a twist on his heel, the man left the diner, leaving Remus to puzzle over the encounter and sip his coffee in solitude.

 

 


	4. Remus Lupin has had enough of drunk Lily Evans

The next morning, the sound of his phone beeping harassed him into a state of consciousness. Remus stared drearily at the tiny electronic slab of evil that sat on the floor next to his day bed/bed bed/couch/ only real piece of furniture. 

>> **I know it’s your day off, but would you mind coming over early if I promise to supply you with food and everlasting love and gratitude?**

Remus rolled his eyes and resisted the urge to smile.

<< _ That’s fine. I want coffee upon arrival. _

>> **Your wish is my command.**

Remus pulled himself into a sitting position, rubbing a tired hand down his face. He hadn’t had any nightmares, thankfully, but he still felt nervous and unrested. Something coffee no doubt was going to make worse, but regardless was a necessity. 

Checking his hair in the mirror, he found that his curls weren’t completely terrifying that morning, and he pulled on a pair of worn jeans, two jumpers, and his thick wool cardigan. Telling himself he could wait until he got to Potter’s for coffee, he headed out the door with his keys and wallet. 

He regretted his decision the moment he got on the train, a throbbing pulse erupting across his temple. 

By the time he got to Potter’s door, his mood was foul and he shot daggers at the man when the door opened wide.

“Christ,” James breathed out, stepping aside to let the pale man through, “What happened to you?”

“Coffee,” Remus told him, “ _ Now. _ ”

“Peter!” James called down the hall, beckoning Remus to follow, “Library Man requires the caffeinated elixir!”

“On it!” Came Peter’s voice from the galley kitchen. Remus dropped down onto the couch he’d sunk into the day before, rubbing his forehead. 

He looked up to find James watching him warily, holding his thesis to his chest. The man coughed, shifting from one foot to the other, “Erm, this can wait.”

“Good choice,” Remus told him, holding his head in one hand.

Opposite the living room and back down the hall came a thump and a slur of swearing. Remus raised an eyebrow at James who sighed and explained, “Sirius is up.”

The bedroom door slammed open and a shirtless Sirius Black, hair wild yet somehow still stylish, emerged from the room.

“What did I say about putting  _ that  _ in there?” he snapped, pointing backward as he stormed into the living room, black combat boots thumping loudly across the hardwood.

“Putting  _ what _ in there, Pads?”

Sirius glared at his friend, stomping towards the window and lighting a cigarette, hitting the glass open with his elbow, “The bed.”

James smirked, “Putting the bed  _ where _ Pads?”

“ _ Underneath me _ , you swot twat. You know I only fall off of it when I’ve been drinking.”

“That’s hardly my fault, you dense ponce.”

Sirius took a drag of the cigarette, his eyes falling to Remus, who’d observed the exchange with the tiniest amount of amusement he could muster, “Christ, have you moved in?”

Remus narrowed his eyes, but it was James who answered.

“Don’t start, Pads. Remus is here to help and he hasn’t had any coffee yet.” He shivered, “He looked like Moody when he’d caught us vandalizing the teacher’s bathroom. Though he’d set my parts afire with his eyes.”

“Eyeing Jamie’s parts, where you?” Sirius smirked at Remus

“Not much interested in James’s parts.” Remus grumbled, ignoring James’s squawk, “And Peter if you don’t hurry up with that coffee I’ll shred your thesis with my teeth.”

There was a crash in the kitchen and Peter came out, running like a squirrel, handing Remus a cup of hot coffee.

“Where’s mine?” Sirius asked from the window.

“Up your ass, with everything else you’ve ever asked from me,” Peter told him.

“Cheeky.”

“Literally.”

Coffee in hand, Remus motioned for James to hand over the thesis and he shuffled through the pages before finding where he’d left off yesterday. 

Really, their work was quite good and didn’t need a lot of corrections. He could tell they’d struggled with the writing part, but it wasn’t as bad as some papers he’d edited by more science-minded students. 

Remus could tell James, and Peter, in particular, were perfectionists when it came to their work, however. 

He tried to be mindful of that as he fell into the groove of editing. 

Peter kept him in constant supply of coffee, and Remus fell happily into the background as the men around him chatted and went about their day. Sirius complained about being hungry then disappeared into the kitchen, the sounds of pans and dishes banging around rang out from the galley kitchen. 

James and Peter started up a game system and were soon engrossed, all the while Remus sat comfortably in his chair, reading their essay.

He couldn’t remember spending a more comfortable afternoon. 

Suddenly a plate was set down on the arm of the chair, a plate piled high with sausage, breakfast potatoes, and roasted tomatoes. 

Remus looked up, blinking confusedly. Sirius was passing out similar dishes to James and Peter, tossing Remus a significant look that clearly said  _ Eat _ . 

Nevermind that Sirius was good looking, Remus thought as he bit into a breakfast potato, but he was a bloody damn good cook as well. 

It took most of the morning and the beginning of the afternoon for Remus to edit. Once he was finished he looked up and saw that his coffee had been replaced with water, and his empty plate taken. 

He blinked blearily at the real world and realized there was music on in the background. 

“I know this song,” he found himself saying. Peter looked up from behind a fort of notes and textbooks stacked at the table and smiled at him, “It’s hitting number one on all the pop charts this week.”

Remus felt his brow furrow at the odd explanation, “Are you a fan of hers?”

“We are fans of the songwriter,” James told him from his spot, sprawled out on the floor, “Sirius sold this song.”

Remus was surprised, “He wrote this?”

James nodded, “And composed.”

Remus shook his head in wonder and disbelief, “That’s...that’s  _ amazing _ .”

There was a snort behind him and he turned his head to find Sirius leaning against the doorway to the kitchen, his eyes amused, “Why do you sound so surprised?”

“Because you’ve acted like an absolute prat since dear Remus set foot in this apartment.” replied James, swinging his long, gangly body into a sitting position, his voice took on a haughty, shrill disposition “And I simply won’t stand for it any longer, Sirius Orion Black, you hear me?”

Sirius rolled his eyes at the dramatic display, “We’re having a party next weekend,” he said to Remus before disappearing back into the kitchen, “You should come.”

Remus’s heart sank, “Oh, I’m, uh, not much of a party person.”

James’s eyes widened, “No! You should come, Lupin. And bring Lily!”

Remus sighed, “She won’t come if she knows you’re here.”

James waved away the notion as one would a fruit fly, “Nonsense. She adores me. Besides, I’m sure you’ll think of something.”

Remus mulled it over. Next Friday was his monthly day off. He could come by. But did he want to give up his one night of freedom?

_ To what? _ A voice in his head argued,  _ Drink tea, read Austen again and have Hermione the Cat as your only company? _

“I’ll think about it,” he told the overexcited man sitting in front of him. He handed over the thesis, regaled his comments to Peter and James, then stood to leave, his spine popping with the movement.

“Corrections are in red,” he told them, needlessly, “It was good. Really well put together.”

James grinned at him, “Did you understand any of it.”

“Absolutely not,” Remus said, offering him a small smiled, “But besides some grammatical errors and sentence structure, you guys put together a great paper.”

James pumped his arm in the air and high fived Peter, “Now you have to come to the party, Loopy. We turn it in that morning and there’s double the reason to celebrate.”

Remus sighed and repeated, “I’ll think about it. I really will.” He gathered his bag and chugged the last of his coffee. He took his leave of them, bundling his scarf high up around his neck, bracing himself for the chill of September. 

* * *

 

 

After a long week of classes and balancing his two jobs atop a pile of homework, Remus found himself languishing in bed Friday morning, hot cup of tea balancing on his stomach, Hermione purring at his side. 

He cataloged what homework he could put off until Sunday, staring lovingly at a stack of to-be-read books at his bedside. It was a light weekend, thankfully. His phone buzzed on the floor.

**_> > Party tonight. Come by anytime after seven!_ **

Remus sighed. He hadn’t forgotten. And, despite himself, he did want to go. He liked Peter, James and yes, Sirius.

Even Sirius.

Remus huffed and chewed on his lip, weighing his options. Finally, he pulled up another text conversation and sent a message to Lily before he could change his mind.

<< _ I was invited to a party tonight on the other side of town. Come with me? _

He received a response almost instantly.

>> **Who is this and what the fuck have you done with Remus Lupin.**

Remus smiled, liking how well Lily already seemed to know him. It was nice.

<< _ Really. It’s me. Please come with me, I’m so awkward at parties. _

>> **Whose party is it?**

Remus hesitated. He didn’t want to trick Lily into going to Potter’s house, but he also didn’t want to go alone. And after spending some time with him, he didn’t quite understand her aversion to James.

<< _ Just some graduate students I’ve met recently. I’ve been editing their paper and they invited me as a thank you. _

>> **Fineeee. Party animal. Meet at mine or yours?**

He texted her the address of the bus stop they could meet at, taking it together before heading to the party. Remus scratched his nose nervously. He hadn’t been to a party since his early days of college. They usually made him anxious, the crowds making him feel trapped. He supposed having Lily there would help, rather than going on his own. 

_ Or it’s a huge mistake, you’ll freak out and make an ass of yourself _ , his brain supplied.

_ Or that _ , Remus bit his lip again. 

He tried to distract himself by starting a new book, and when that proved to be futile he got a small portion of his homework done.

By the time evening strolled around, Remus was a bundle of nerves, hopping into a lukewarm shower. He valiantly tried to tame his curls, but ultimately gave up. Looking through his clothes, he decided it was a good thing he had to cover up the scars on his neck, as an outfit was one less thing he had to worry about. He pulled on a dark sweater and dark jeans, wrapping a thick scarf around his neck. 

A real chill -- not the imaginary one that Remus consistently felt -- was in the air as he walked from his apartment to the bus stop. Leaves crunched beneath his beat-up boots and the sun warmed the tips of his shoulders, only slightly. Four blocks later, and he caught sight of Lily. She wore a flattering plaid skirt with a black leather jacket, her auburn hair looking striking against the setting sun.

She grinned at him, “Ready to get your groove on, Lupin?”

Remus rolled his eyes and bumped shoulders with her. She raised her eyebrows, surprised at the display of affection, but bumped her shoulders back.

The party was in full swing by the time they arrived. Lily whistled at the grandeur of the walk-up, and they trudged through a crowd of people hanging around the stairs, Lily pulling Remus through by his hand. His hand stuck to hers, he was sure, by sweat and nerves. His heart was already pounding in his chest by the time they made it to the apartment doors. Lily walked in as if she owned the place, bottle of gin resting on her hip as she surveyed the crowd.

“Want to go find a mixer?” Remus nodded, his throat starting to constrict at the size of the crowd that overtook the hall. Lily let go of him in concern, and put a comforting hand on his shoulder forcing him to face her, “Remus, hey, you ok? What did you say your friend’s name was?”

Suddenly there was a shout down the hall, and James came barreling into view.

“Loopy! You made it!”

Lily narrowed her eyes first at Remus then at James, “Potter, what are you doing here?”

James put a hand to his chest, “Why, Professor Evans, I live here.”

Lily’s mouth dropped open and she turned to glare at Remus, “Traitor.”

“I’m sorry,” Remus told her, eyes wide.

“Is this some sort of trap? Have I been set up?” Lily shot an accusatory glare back at James, who wisely took a step back, hands raised.

“No no no, listen. I know I acted like a prat in class, but I asked Remus to invite you here to make it up to you,” James shook his head, “That’s all. I swear.”

Lily’s eyes remained narrow, and her posture stiff, “I need a drink,” she grumbled before stomping down the hall. James blew out a breath of relief, “I thought she was going to kill me.”

“She might yet,” Remus replied, sticking his hands in his pockets. Now that Lily was gone, he felt vulnerable and alone and --

James threw an arm around him, “Let me introduce you to a few people, eh Loopy?”

The next hour felt like a blur. Remus was reintroduced to the couple he met the night at The Burrow -- Alice and Frank Longbottom -- as well as an unfairly good looking set of twins, Fabian and Gideon Prewett, who happened to be related to Molly Weasley. 

“We’ve heard a lot about you,” Fabian said, winking at him, “Molly’s mad about you.”

Remus felt the back of his neck heat up under the tall man’s stare, “She’s very sweet.”

“It helps that you’re so cute.” quipped Gideon

Remus nearly choked. James took that as his queue to steer Remus away from the twins and towards the kitchen, “You look like you need a drink, mate.”

“Please,” Remus said, re-adjusting his scarf.

He hadn’t been in the kitchen before, and Remus was surprised to see it was actually quite large. A perfect square, there was counter space Remus would kill for at his own place. There was also a sliding door that led to a small balcony looking out over the street.

“The guys don’t need anything by it,” James said, handing Remus a beer. “They’re a flirty duo, for sure. But harmless” 

Remus didn’t normally drink, but given the circumstance, and the fact he was already feeling so out of place, he took the cool bottle gratefully. 

James observed him, his head cocked slightly to the side, “You don’t do parties, do you?”

Remus shrugged, “It’s not that. It’s people.”

“You don’t do people?” James quipped, wiggling his eyes.

“I don’t do  _ crowds _ of people.”

There was a roar from the living room and Remus and James both peered through the kitchen’s opening to find Lily Evans doing a row of shots, lined up at the small living room table.

“Oh hell,” Remus muttered under his breath.

James snorted, “I knew she’d be a laugh. Look at her go!” He quickly left the kitchen to join the crowd that was quickly surrounding the petite redhead.

Remus sighed heavily and looked towards the door to the balcony. Yes, some air would be good.

He stepped out, expecting a few moments to himself, and nearly jumped a foot in the air when, from the corner of his eye, he caught sight of a black figure smoking a cigarette.

“Careful,” Sirius told him, leaning forward, the flight from the door splaying across his face in a warm glow. He was sitting on a metal lawn chair, smirking at Remus.

“Sorry, I didn’t know anyone was out here.”

Sirius hummed and leaned back again so Remus could only see the white of his eyes and the burning bud of the cigarette in his mouth, “I’m hiding.”

“From your own party?”

Fabric scratched against brick as Sirius shrugged, “Certain people at my party.”

Remus didn’t know what to say, so he leaned forward on the rail, looking down at the street below. 

Night had fallen completely now, and the street lamps lit up the streets, piles of leaves brushing down the sidewalk in the easy breeze. 

“I see James has adopted you,” Sirius said in a tone of amusement.

“Is that what’s happened?” Remus murmured.

“He’s got a big, annoying heart.” the dark haired man said, taking another drag from his cigarette.

Remus turned to look at him, “This is pretty cliche, you know. You talking to me from the shadows like this. Do you get off on pulling the whole the mysterious act, thing?”

“I could tell you, in detail, exactly what gets me off.”

Remus rolled his eyes and Sirius snorted, standing, and moved into the light, “Better?”

Remus took him in. Sirius was in tight, black pants and a simple white long-sleeve shirt. There was nothing particularly special about what he was wearing, just that he pulled it off extraordinarily well.

His dark hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail, wisps of hair accenting the sharpness of his face. His eyes caught Remus’s and he smirked again.

Remus held his beer tighter between his fingers.

“I’m surprised you came.”

Remus nodded, looking back down towards the street, “Me too.”

“You haven’t taken a single sip of that beer.”

His attention snapped back to Sirius, “I have --”

“I’ve been watching you since you came into the kitchen,” Sirius told him, grey eyes shining.

Remus swallowed thickly, “Creep.”

“Observant.”

Remus shrugged and raised the beer to his lips, “Call it whatever you like.” He swallowed the bitter -- now warm -- beer.

He felt a flush break out across his cheeks when he realized Sirius was watching the movement with keen, grey eyes,

Then Remus froze because Sirius was  _ watching his throat _ . 

Sirius could see his throat. 

He quickly put the beer down on the ledge and reached up to readjust his scarf, but not before Sirius had reached out to stop him. 

The next moment happened in slow motion; Sirius gently pulled the rest of the scarf down, revealing the terrible scars etched into the skin of Remus’s neck and throat. 

Remus could feel the warmth of his fingers, so close to his skin. He pulled back with an abrupt jerk.

“Sorry,” Remus shook his head, not really knowing why he was apologizing, “I don’t let anyone see them, let alone touch them.”

“Don’t apologize,” Sirius told him in a low, soft voice. He moved closer, closing the distance Remus had put between them, “What happened?”

Remus bit his lip, fiddling with the heavy scarf again, “An accident. When I was a kid.”

Sirius was watching him with dark, guarded eyes, “Some accident.”

The sound of the sliding door being thrown open startled Remus, causing him to jump again. Sirius put a hand out to steady him, landing on his stomach.

The heat of his hand inflamed Remus’s abdomen. They both turned to find Lily spilling through the open door, pointing dramatically at Remus.

“You!” She stumbled towards him, and Sirius released Remus to steady the inebriated redhead.

“Steady, Evans,” Remus told her.

“Shhh,” she said, “We need to go. Before I get  _ very  _ drunk.”

“Before?” Remus asked incredulously.

“Mmmm,” Lily said, crossing her arms and tipping back. Sirius caught her again and snorted. Lily’s eyes shot to him. A look of recognition crossed across her face, “Holy shit.  _ Sirius _ ?”

“How’s it going, Lils?”

Remus paused, “You two know each other?”

Lily fell silent. Sirius shrugged, “We used to.”

A feeling of discomfort washed over Remus, “Does, uh, James know that?”

Lily gasped, “Potter is here? Where? We need to leave before he finds me!”

Remus gaped at her, “This is his -- you know what, nevermind. Let’s go.” He tentatively took Lily’s arm, and led her back through the sliding door, leaving Sirius alone on the balcony.

If possible, the crowd inside had gotten bigger since Remus had been outside. Perhaps drunk Lily had been a blessing, for surely a party of this size was going to get busted.

Remus successfully led a stumbling Lily through the crowd and out the front door. They struggled with the stairs, Lily breaking out into laughter when a frustrated Remus offered to carry her down on his back.

Once they were on the sidewalk and breathing in the cool air, Remus felt as if he’d escaped something very important. Sirius Black had been the first person in years to see his scars and not react poorly. 

In fact, he barely reacted at all.

Lily spun around on the sidewalk and Remus chased after her, the redhead’s head tipped back, pale, freckled face to the night sky.

“Lily, for the love of god, stay on the sidewalk or you’ll give me a heart attack.”

“This is nice, Remus,” she told him, arms out, “You try!”

Remus clenched his teeth and tried to stop her from spinning out into the street, “Christ, it’s like herding dogs.”

There was a chuckle behind them, and Lily dropped her hands and danced over to where Sirius was emerging from the building, leather jacket on, cigarette in hand.

“Thought I’d make sure the two of you got home.” the man said coyly, “A drunk Lily Evans can be quite a handful.”

Remus pursed his lips. He didn’t understand what was going on. Were they exes? Past friends? If so, why didn’t James seem to know Sirius knew the girl he was infatuated with?

Remus supposed it was none of his business and nodded at the pair who’d now linked arms.

The three of them walked slowly -- because  _ Lily _ \-- to the bus stop. Sirius and Lily had started up a banter based on song lyrics, something Remus was too tired to keep up with. He had a headache, and overall the night had been mundane. 

He supposed he should be proud of himself for getting out of his comfort zone, but really, he was just tired.

The bus came and they got on, Sirius put Lily in an available seat by the window and the redhead pressed her forehead against the window. That left Sirius to stand near Remus, holding on to one of the poles installed in the middle of the bus cab.

He felt Sirius’s eyes on him and tried his best to ignore them.

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Out on the balcony.”

Remus cleared his throat, and said gruffly, “You didn’t. I mean, you did. But. Thank you. For apologizing.”

_ Jesus, Lupin, _ he chastised himself,  _ Get it together. _

They stood in silence as the bus prodded on. Remus watched as Lily’s eyes grew heavier, and eventually closed altogether.

He felt another set of eyes on him and he turned his head slightly to find Sirius watching him.

“What?” he asked, swaying with the movement of the bus.

“You don’t like me.”

Remus sighed, “Don’t take it personally, I don’t like many people.”

Sirius motioned with his head towards Lily, “You like Evans.”

“She’s an...exception,” Remus cleared his throat and jumped at the chance to change the subject, “How do you two know each other?”

This time it was Sirius who looked rather uncomfortable. The look held barely a moment, but it was a flash of another side of him, a small reflection, perhaps, of the real man. It dawned on Remus that Sirius’s cool-guy act may just be that.

An act. 

“We grew up together,” Sirius said in a low voice, shrugging slightly, “In a sense. I lived with her and her family briefly when I was fourteen.”

Remus blinked, surprised at how quickly Sirius was, to be honest with him, “Oh.”

Sirius gave him a look, “Did you think we were exes?” 

“Sort of.”

The dark haired man snorted, “Not likely.”

Remus was offended for his friend, “What’s wrong with her? You don’t like intelligent, beautiful women?”

“If I fancied women, then yes I would.” Sirius gave him a sly smile, “But as it is, they don’t do much for me. Plus, I’ve seen Lily in a mouth guard, that rather destroyed any sex appeal.”

Remus laughed in spite of himself, “Fair enough.”

Sirius grinned at him, something reminiscent of a Cheshire cat.

“Does James know?” Remus asked, unable to stop himself.

Sirius took a slow inhale, “No. Lily and I haven’t seen each other for a couple of years. I went off the radar for a while, then I met James.”

Remus hummed, “Rather an awkward situation you’ve found yourself in.”

Sirius waggled his eyebrows but didn’t respond.

The bus rounded it’s way to Lilly’s stop, and the two men managed to maneuver her off the bus without causing any further ruckus. Thankfully, Sirius seemed to remember where Lily lived and led them to her parent’s house a couple blocks south of where Remus lived. 

Once Lily let herself in and they heard her lock the door behind her, Sirius rounded on Remus with another grin, “Right. Your turn.”

“You’re not serious.”

“I’m always Sirius.” the dark hair man clucked.

Remus rolled his eyes and started walking, “I’m sober and completely capable of getting myself home.”

“Call it peace of mind.” Sirius said, speeding up his gait to match Remus, “For me.”

Remus rolled his eyes again but was secretly pleased. It was rather nice, having someone to walk with.

“Tell me something about yourself, Lupin.”

“I’m annoyed by poncy black-haired men named Sirius.”

“ _ C'est dommage _ , I happen to be a poncy black haired man named Sirius.”

“Funny that.” Remus said, turning his mouth down to prevent himself from smiling, “Ah well.”

A frosty wind blew at them from the front and Remus pulled his scarf higher across his face. They were only a block away now, and Sirius kept a steady pace at his side, commenting on the state of the dead gardens they passed and the sad looking window boxes of the apartments they passed.

“Why did you come to the party tonight?” Sirius asked suddenly, turning around and walking backward to better look at Remus, “He who does not like people.”

Remus sighed. He was tired, and while, despite himself, he didn’t find Sirius annoying, the entire night was taking a toll on him, “I thought it would be good for me. Get me out of my comfort zone.”

Sirius smirked, “Did it?”

Remus shrugged, “It wasn’t the _worst_ night I’ve ever had.”

Sirius brought the back of his hand to his forehead and fake swooned, “I’m flattered.”

Remus rolled his eyes so hard he thought they’d fall out of his head.

When they finally reached his building, Sirius looked up at it and whistled, “What a beaut.”

“Shut it.” Remus suppressed a smile. His building really was crap, but not everyone could live like Sirius and Potter. Actually,  _ most _ people couldn’t.

“Well,” Remus shuffled his feet, and tried to ignore his companion’s gaze, “G’night then.”

Sirius snorted, “I’m seeing you up.”

Remus gaped at him, “You are _not_.” That was the very last thing Sirius Black needed to do.

Sirius nodded and opened the lobby door, a smirk on his face, “I am.”

“Why?” Remus grumbled, reluctantly walking through the open door and up the stairs. 

“Say it’s curiosity. Plus, you’ve been to mine.”

“What?” Remus trudged up the stairs, stomping slightly, “You’ve shown me yours now I have to show you mine?”

Sirius chuckled, following him up the stairs, “Kinky, Lupin.”

“Shut up.”

Once they were actually in the apartment, Sirius looked around and asked Remus with the utmost sincerity, “Where is the rest of it?”

Remus pinched the bridge of his nose and threw his keys somewhere on his bed/couch, “Christ, I need a cuppa.”

“That one beer really get to you?”

Remus picked up a roll of socks he passed and threw it at him, causing Sirius to chuckle even harder.

He could hear Sirius poke around his tiny flat, humming at his bookcase. He hadn’t caught sight of Hermione, having left his window unlocked, he figured she was out for the night. 

“Tea?” Remus called out, supposing he should be somewhat of a host to the nutter who’d followed him home.

“I’m alright,” Sirius told him, coming into the small kitchenette area, “Fabian Prewett asked me to give you this,” he reached into his pocket and gave Remus a slip of paper. 

There was a phone number on it.

“Oh,” Remus flushed hot, “Um. Thanks.” He placed the slip on his counter next to the kettle, still waiting for the damn thing to boil.

“Are you into men, then?” Sirius asked casually, his hip leaning against the counter, impossibly close to Remus.

“Yes. And no.” Remus mumbled, chewing on his fingernail, “Depends on the person.”

Sirius cocked an eyebrow and beckoned him to go on with a nod of his head. 

“My scars, they,” Remus paused wondering how on earth the night turned into this, him spilling his guts to a man he’d met barely a week ago, “They make it rather difficult to do...much.”

Sirius hummed, “It shouldn’t.”

Remus scoffed and gave the dark haired man a once over, “Easy for you to say.”

Sirius nodded, and said with the casualness of someone who knew they were good looking, “I suppose it is.”

Finally, the kettle screamed, and Remus picked it up hastily, pouring himself a mug.

“I should go,” Sirius finally said, “You look exhausted.” Sirius made towards the door and Remus watched his retreat with something between relief and disappointment. He looked back down at his tea.

“Can I give you some advice, though?”

Remus looked up from preparing his tea, “I doubt you're the sort of person I can prevent from doing what they want.”

Sirius smirked. Then he reached out, grabbed the slip of paper from the counter and crushed it in his hand. Dumping it in the bin, he looked up at Remus and winked, “You can do better.”

Remus only let himself smile when he left. But then he smiled for hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was actually rather difficult to write. I'm trying to decide what sort of tone to set between Remus and Sirius, and hope I found the right one :) I know it's been a while since I posted, so I hope this was a treat to those of you who've been waiting!
> 
> Comments and kudos MEAN A LOT.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on Tumblr @agathasyouruncle. I post things. I swear I do.


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